Today's "Role Models"

I sure am glad that gossip and glamour magazines were not in my childhood home.

Yikes!

Double yikes!

Please excuse me, but I must oblige.

I love the advances women have made in society.  For the most part, discrimination is extinct, at least by law.  I often find myself proud of how much I have accomplished in comparison to the women in my family.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I am not putting down what they accomplished at all, but what I have achieved so far would not have been possible for some of my relatives or without the help of those relatives.  I am pursuing a career in a very male dominated industry.  The job is often quite physically demanding.  However, I do not fear the possibility of success due to my gender.

Speaking of physically tough times, I just watched the Lonesome Dove mini-series.  Wow.  Now, I understand that they are fictional characters but I must insist that they are based somewhere in truth.  If that book had been written about stock brokers, or some other profession, it would be a lot harder to believe.  I apologize for bringing up cowboys once again, but I really cannot set aside the chivalry and moral stubbornness they possess.  What man wouldn't want to be Augustus McCrae?  And what woman wouldn't want to be Clara Allen?  Clip from the series.

I may be tough, but it is just darn polite to lend a hand.  I was struggling with some large equipment through the rain and subways.  Three men offered to help me, two of which were actually near my age and quite handsome (a rarity).  I don't expect men my age to be quite so polite.  Now if only this chivalry would extend past a simple few seconds of carrying a large board.

Now, I've come across this bizarre phenomenon.  Women, especially those in metropolitan areas, want to prove they are capable of taking care of themselves.  I understand that completely.  But the dating arena is very different than the professional.  This is where I get quite old fashioned.  I can have a career and support myself, but it isn't a big deal for the gentleman to pay for dinner once in a while.  Why is it such a crime to do so?  Who decided a person could not take care of themselves just because they were treated to dinner?  Just because someone opens a door for me doesn't mean I cannot do it myself.  There is a line when this may be implied though.  I have encountered men who are insistent on being overly caring for women.  You know where?  Not in America!  This was in places where women are still second class in some ways.  This "chivalry" definitely crosses the line into oppression.  However, Americans need not fear this.  Any men really should not worry about offending women by offering to pay for dinner or opening a door.  I really hate how this has taken over much of the dating world in metro areas.  I don't know how many women agree with me, but my diverse group of friends seems to.

So man up and embrace tradition.  It became tradition for a reason.

Chivalry does not have to be a myth.

*Chivalry by Frank Dicksee

Now, for something funny about this situation.  Watch this.

Prescription:  Just think about how you would want to be treated if you were the opposite gender.

Back in the Saddle

 *Taken on my trip

I made it through the past month and am back online.  Thank goodness.

This post may wander for a bit, but I promise it will come back down to what I feel it takes to be classy, as I define it.  I find respect from your peers a crucial slice of the classy pie.

While I was away, I became more in tune with the idea of "craft".  Crafting something precisely by hand is a dying tradition as machines become more inexpensive and technologically advanced.  Fortunately I was able to watch many craftsmen work diligently.  As they skillfully worked, these men were not only earning wages but were in a larger sense preserving a tradition of their culture.

It is important for us to not lose sight of our cultural heritages and to embrace the traditions that give us substance.  Whether your tradition is to keep riding horses on a ranch or to carve delicate petals from marble, it embodies that unwavering vigor that is the human spirit.  To keep doing something the way it should be done is impressive on many levels.  The skill with which somebody painstakingly performs tedious tasks is laudable, along with the fact that they continue do it on principle.

I am delighted that cowboys still exist and some of them stick to the methods used decades ago.  But to watch someone perform skills centuries old is on another level.  Making something by hand simply because it should be done that way is beyond admirable.

Another process not often considered complex is the act of making tea.  A friend of mine has deeply explored and learned the crafts that go into making a cup of tea.  The process of making a documentary about tea lead him to appreciate tea in an unparalleled way.  (Visit this website.)  This friend taught me how making a cup of tea can be analogous to filmmaking.  As a filmmaker, I am greatly inspired by the many details that go into making a film.  If you are not interested in how the film works down to a subatomic level, then why are you working in that medium in the first place?

The science and art of making anything from and with anything else is invaluable to that artist.  But artist may not be the most appropriate term.  Rather, one could think of that person as a creator.  Even then, "creator" does not really reach the extent to which I am grasping.  Facilitator may be the closest I can get at the moment.  Because this person is dealing with so many elements, so many incredibly and infinitely unpredictable elements, they need to hone the craft.  It must be learned in a way that working in the craft is no longer a thought but is a reaction, often emotional or beyond consciousness.

The aforementioned friend brought my understanding of filmmaking (specifically cinematography) from a passion to a general idea, to a concept, to a disconnected nebula of science, to artistic endeavor, to profession, and ultimately back down to an emotional response.  For this I will always be grateful.

So, I hope whatever you pursue in life, you do it with all of the zeal, zest, and cogitation you can muster.  Because it is only from that which you derive satisfaction that ultimately adds to your life.

And when you do this, when you do what is right and fulfilling, you will be respected.  You will have self respect and the respect of others.

My conclusive advice, if you even care to listen, is to take your craft seriously, whatever it may be.  Take it seriously, but not more than it deserves.  Give your work the respect you want for yourself and you will be released from the chains of indecision.  Surviving self doubt will be worth it.  I plan on revisiting these ideas more thoroughly at a later time.  I apologize for the disconnected nature of this post.

I find so much inspiration in the cowboy way of life.  Here is an example of what I mean.  A real man doing real honest work.

Prescription:  Listen to THIS.  Don't forget that "a ranch is just dirt. Grass comes with help from above. Success comes with hard work, luck and care."

A Gallant Prince

(Posts for the meantime are based on specific inspiration.  I promise better posts will be back in a few weeks.)

I was boarding the trolley tonight when a gentleman caught me by surprise.  I was carrying a heavy bag and was the last passenger on.  There were no more seats left.  When this man saw me struggle to set the bag down, he immediately offered his seat to me.  The best part was that he was carrying two large instrument cases himself.  At his offer I uncontrollably sighed, "Awww, how sweet" and thanked him.  Moments like that are unfortunately rare in this town.

Also, a friend of mine also experienced a nice moment today.  She often gives a buck to a local homeless man.  Today, he chased her down the sidewalk and gave her a small pair of stud earrings.  How sweet is that?  When she told me the little story her eyes filled with tears of appreciation.  I hope you all make room in your hearts to appreciate similar episodes.

The obligatory song can be heard HERE.

A Magnificent Mister

Whilst on a job last weekend, I met the most wonderful gentleman.  I promised myself to save time to not post again until May.  However, after spending the weekend with this man I could not avoid it.  He is such a classy man that he deserves a post to honor him.

For his privacy, I shall simply call him "Mr. M".

Mr. M is many things.  Here's a list from the top of my mind:

• Opinionated, but not judgemental
• Polite, but not fake
• Honest, but not rude
• Handsome, but not vain
• Wealthy, but not stingy or extravagant
• Hardworking, but still knows how to have fun
• Organized, but not imposingly so
• Loving, but not meaninglessly so
• Generous, but not thoughtlessly so
• Jocular, but not offensive
• Intelligent, but not condescending

Any classy lady would hope to find a gentleman like Mr. M.

Prescription:  Turn the volume up on this one.  LISTEN HERE. 

Weather Inspired

Just a quick link.  I am bogged down with work, so for the next month please hold on to your britches.  Here is an uplifting song for the meantime.

ENJOY HERE.

If only he knew...

...how true this song still is.

This song really captures the heart of this blog, frank but not bitter.

LISTEN HERE.

Just a song.

It's alright to feel fancy sometimes.

Try listening to THIS SONG as you get gussied up for a night out, even if you just end up at your neighborhood coffee shop.  How about something fun to watch?  Go HERE.

Simply Versatile

Part of being classy is simplicity.  The sophistication that comes with avoiding convolution is inherent.  This extends past clothing and decorating to relationships.  It is admirable to keep your relationships simple.  This whole "it's complicated" business is not quite classy.  If you consciously maintain open honesty, then simplicity comes naturally.  It is crucial to always know where you stand with others.  When you understand your relationships clearly then you are free to act politely and openly.  You do not have to dance around on egg shells and are less likely to slip up.

The next step is to take your open simplicity with you at all times.  To me, a classy individual is one who can fit in most any company (an exception maybe to leave dangerous or callously crass company).  Can you skip along the New York City sidewalks and also boot scoot with the down-home locals?  If not, consider why.  Are you aware of yourself enough that you can float between cultures and classes easily?  A classy lady or gentleman can chat up an elderly couple, entertain a younger crowd, yet also charm his or her peers.  A little charm can go a long way.  A gentleman or lady should be able to conduct him/herself smoothly between a one-on-one to a swinging party.  Sometimes your mood makes being alone with someone or being part of a group challenging.

Class comes with refining yoursef and knowing your boundaries to make others and yoursef comfortable.  When acheiving class, it feels comfortable.  It is as if you were slipping into a silk gown or putting on a soft pair of socks.  You know it is just right and everyone else appreciates it as well.

Keeping it short and sweet, until next time.

Prescription: Recount your week and how you spent it.  Try to make next week more diverse and polite.  Lacking confidence?  Take a dose of Judy HERE or HERE.  Remember, it is good to be reflective just beware of the slippery slope to self pity.

A Rambunctious Escapade.

After my vacation, I felt unfit for writing another post.  Irresponsibility is rarely respectable.  But, after a little bit of thought I found something.  This post is inspired by a lovely person I met during my relaxing break.  Even a near perfect stranger can inspire you.

Be personable.  What if you are not naturally charming?  Do not fret.  Just be honest.  An honest person is rare.  In fact, I have found it so rare that people are often thrown off by it at first.  However, if you are persistent in your open honesty any reasonable person would appreciate that.  We do not need to play games.  Just be truthful.  There is no need to read between the lines if you just do not draw the lines.

I do not appreciate how bound to technology we have become.  Breaking up over the phone used to be frowned upon, but now texting is the new low standard.  What happened to respecting a person or relationship?  I believe in respecting a person with physical presence.  Although it may be more difficult to look someone in the eye and argue or admit embarrassing matters, a face to face confrontation is just more honorable.  What if meeting in person is impossible?  Then speak on the phone rather than email or text.  Before sending a text or online chat message, I often think "Would I say this in person?"  It is my reminder to always be honest to myself and others.  Always working to be honest keeps my conscience clear.  A clear conscience leads to a better sense of self.  A better sense of self leads to confidence.  As I said in my last post, confidence is a huge factor in becoming classy.

I fortunately find myself enjoying the company of others more often than not.  Even if you are not best of friends with your company, find something inspiring in them.  Your enemy or a bore can always offer something, just as you can always offer something to them.  Embrace people.  It is okay to be close to humans.  All we really need is just to touch each other.  Be meaningful in your interactions and you will be treasured.

Prescription: Slow down.  Find something to appreciate and do so.  A connoisseur is often classy.  If you would like a tune to go along with that, then go HERE.

"A Beginning"

*Setting out for a winter's morning hunt.*

What inspired this blog? I am not quite sure. It seems to be a culmination of things. The classy style of ladies and gentlemen of the 1950's, '40s, '30s, and '20s needs a resurgence. Fashion is not the focus, but rather a state of being. What happened to just being classy? What is so wrong with embracing traditional roles? Or possibly breaking those roles to redefining yourself with elegance? I have found myself often alone in my room just swaying to a fancy tune pondering this topic.

I want to keep up my quest for class in this blog.

I shall begin at the definition.

From Merriam-Webster:
classy
Pronunciation: \ˈkla-sē\
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): class·i·er; class·i·est
Date: 1891
b : having or reflecting high standards of personal behavior c : admirably skillful and graceful

Notice, not posh, nor expensive, fancy, luxurious, swanky, or fashionable.

It is more about being polished, sophisticated, intricate, and elegant. I feel that anyone can be classy, even the most awkwardly introverted person.

I would go on, however I must stop myself. This shall be an ongoing process and each post will hopefully shed light on a new path. Stopping now allows me to consider a few more paths for my next post.

The goal of this is to explore my torment and to share a dose of confidence. You cannot be classy without confidence.

The first step to becoming more classy. Find a song. Create a playlist. Close your eyes and imagine yourself with grace as you listen along.

Prescription: Listen to THIS. And take a bow in front of a mirror.